How to Grow out of the Wilderness (book excerpt)

The man she thought was her fiance drove her to the doctor for her final examination after losing “Little Jay”. Derrick took her for lunch and a little talk when they left the doctor’s office. As they ate, he apologized for his lack of compassion and absence in the previous weeks. He told her that he had been dating one of her so-called friends and that he was sorry for hurting her. Derrick didn’t want her to hear it through the grapevine, so he told on himself. The truth was that he felt guilty as he watched Tonya suffer the loss of their child and her mother. He felt like crap when Tonya stood and threw her ice water in his face as she stormed out of the restaurant. He called after her as she walked out of the restaurant, leaving him talking to the back of her head as she walked away. He stood with tears in his eyes as he watched Tonya walk out of his life. She was determined not to allow another person to witness her having another melt down.Tonya walked from the restaurant to the church to pick up Malik. Crying all the way there, she was thinking of a way to leave the country. She chained smoked cigarettes until she smelled like a walking chimney. Entering the lower sanctuary of the church, she waited for the doorkeeper to call for Malik. Malik came running out to greet Tonya excited, and wanted to stay for bible study. Tonya, being exhausted mentally and physically; promised him that they would attend the following week, but Malik insisted. He demanded to stay; that was it and that was all. He walked away leaving Tonya talking to herself the same way she had just left Derrick standing alone in the restaurant. She sat down to gain her composure as she talked to the thin air that was beginning to choke her. As Tonya sat there she prayed for God to give her a sign. He didn’t just give her a sign; he gave her his promise.Where Tonya was sitting was in the first row of seats in the bible study class. Not only did bible study begin before she could leave, but there was a new Pastor. He and his wife came in like nothing Tonya had ever witnessed. They used computers, projection screens and were just as radical as Tonya. When the Pastor gave the scripture for the study that night, Tonya knew she was where she was supposed to be. (Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.)